So you want to know how to win a man.
You want to know how to win his undying devotion, how to permanently make him want to be with you and only you, how to win his attention, adoration, and love for all time.
Maybe you’re with a guy and he’s just not committing to you. Maybe you’ve had trouble finding lasting commitment in the past.
Maybe you just want to know what it takes to win a man’s heart, so that he doesn’t think of anyone besides you.
more: Foolproof Ways To Make A Guy Commit
Most of the time, women come to me with this question because they’re worried about their relationship with a guy. Sometimes, they just broke up with a guy they thought might be ‘the one’ and they feel totally lost and confused about what makes a man fall in love for good.
The truth is, if you’ve had a history of not being able to get a man to commit and lock you down, chances are you’re looking at it the wrong way.
I’m going to tell you what it takes to win a man, and I’m going to be blunt. not because I want to hurt you, or because I want to make you feel bad about your choices, but the opposite.
Take This Quiz And Find Out Right Now: Is He Slipping Away
I want you to have everything you’ve always wanted in your love life. And in order to do that, I’m going to have to share with you some blunt truths about how men and relationships really work.
I refuse to give you sweet sounding lies that won’t actually help you and will in fact put you further away from the relationship you really want.
Instead, I’m only going to give you the cold honest truth. It might sting a little bit, but remember that I would never lie to you just to make you feel better. I’m here so that you can finally have the love life you’ve always wanted.
Good? Good.
Here’s How To Approach Your Love Life
When I get asked about the right mindset to have amazing relationships, people are often surprised that it boils down to a couple of really simple things.
The truth is, it takes two really simple ingredients in order to win a man’s heart and have him want to be with you forever.
I’m going to go over both of them right here, right now, so that you can find the relationship you’ve always wanted with the man you can’t live without.
more: 9 Guaranteed Signs He’ll Never Commit
The ingredients to a stable, lasting relationship, where you ‘win’ a man’s heart and are long term committed to being in love with each other are:
Self-respect and compatibility.
First, let’s cover self-respect.
The First Step To Winning A Man’s Heart
If you’re with a guy who’s not committing to you, and you’re committed to him, like you’re already in a long term relationship with him – you’re giving up your self-respect.
What you’re saying to him is: “It’s ok that you’re not being faithful to me or committing to me, I love you so much that I’ll devote myself to you while you haven’t devoted yourself to me.”
You’re putting yourself in the position of begging him to be with you long term.
In that position, you have nothing to offer him more than what you’re already giving him – your love and devotion and exclusivity.
more: What Men Truly Need From A Woman
If he’s not going to reciprocate with the same amount of interest, exclusivity, and commitment that you do, then you’re offering your love and your commitment for free.
And when you give someone something for free, it unconsciously makes them value it less. This isn’t something that can be argued or bargained away – it’s human psychology.
If you want him to value you, if you want him to commit to you, if you want to win him…
Then you have to match his level of commitment exactly with your own.
What I mean by that is that if he’s not exclusively committing to you, then you’re not exclusively committing to him either.
more: How To Keep A Man Interested For Good
If he’s not ruling out seeing other people, then neither are you.
I’m not saying to go out and hook up with a bunch of guys right away, but what I am saying is that you should be open to going out on dates with guys you’re interested in. (And you should be open to becoming interested in new guys).
You can make it clear to him that you’re not holding him to any standard that he’s not holding you to – so if he wants to be free to see other people then you’re fine with that – and you’re also free to see other people.
At this point, one of two things will happen. Either:
1. He will explicitly ‘lock you down’ and enter a committed relationship with you.
Or,
2. He won’t, and he’ll be ok with you dating other guys.
I know it doesn’t seem this way at first blush, but either way that plays out, you win.
Either he freaks out about the idea of losing you and locks you down, committing himself to you, which gives you what you want.
Or, he doesn’t, and is fine with losing you if you meet another guy. If that’s the way he feels, nothing you could have said or done would have made him want a committed relationship with you.
At least this way, you find out that he wasn’t going to want to commit to you right now, so that you don’t have to spend months (or years) waiting fruitlessly for him to come around.
more: What Really Makes A Man Happy
Usually, I can tell you that when a guy realizes he can lose the woman he’s with, it immediately makes him step up. That’s because it triggers his natural desire to compete – and when he realizes he can ‘lose’ you that’s when he most wants to ‘win’ you – and that’s how you ‘win’ him.
Next, I want to talk about the second ingredient: compatibility.
The Second Step To Winning A Man’s Heart
It occurs to me now that I actually put these two steps in the wrong order. While the second step might be matching his level of commitment, the first step to any sort of long lasting, committed, happy relationship is compatibility.
Compatibility means that you both feel comfortable around each other. It means you act naturally around each other, without trying to be ‘someone else’ that you think he’ll like, and without wearing a ‘mask’.
It means that you’re free to let your true selves shine around each other, and more than that, it means that it feels good to be with him when he’s being his true self – just like he feels good around you when you’re being your true self.
more: How To Make Men Chase You Without Playing Games
People that come to me and tell me that they’re ‘fighting’ for their relationships every day, that they’re proud to claw and scratch every day for their relationship to survive, don’t realize a super important fundamental rule of relationships: they’re supposed to be easy.
How To Win A Man’s Heart Forever
Good relationships are supposed to feel easy, not hard. It won’t feel like you have to fight for your relationship to exist every day – in fact it will feel like the opposite. You’ll feel natural with him, like you can be your natural self around him. If you feel like you have to change yourself or ‘be someone different’ in order to be the person he wants – that’s not a natural relationship. You’ll feel like you’re fighting yourself every day to be with him, and it will be true.
True compatibility with someone is feeling totally comfortable and natural in their presence. It means being able to be your true self (not the person you are at work, or with friends, or out in public), and have that person be totally accepted.
more: 10 Keys To A Man’s Heart
At the same time, true compatibility is him being able to show his true self as well. That’s what I mean about great relationships being ‘easy’ – when you get used to being your true self it’s the easiest thing in the world.
That’s not to say that great relationships don’t take work – they do. But when you can be your honest, natural self around each other, the work doesn’t feel like work. It just feels good to be with him.
The other part of compatibility that’s so important to winning a man is this: when a guy can be his true, natural self around you, and he feels that you accept who he really is, he falls deeply in love with you.
This is one of the most important parts of falling in love, and truly is the ‘key’ to winning a man’s heart. If he feels that you love him and support him at his most fundamental level – i.e. who he really truly is and what he really truly wants to do in the world – you will have won his heart forever.
Guys aren’t stupid. They know that if they find a woman who loves and supports their true self, that’s not a woman to let go of.
more: How To Win A Man’s Heart
When you and your man are ‘moving in the same direction’ in life – meaning you have similar goals and hopes and dreams – and you enjoy each other for who you truly are underneath: that’s the meaning of true compatibility.
And that’s how you have a relationship that lasts, and that’s how you ‘win’ a man’s heart forever.
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I seem to be getting a lot of attention and requests from Men to go out on dates, but not interested there not my type don’t want to waste a Man time.
Not looking or hunting for a Man but hope I meet the right Man one day soon. Local bars clubs are the wrong places. Dating sites speed dating not the right places to look for love of a life time.
GREAT PIECE
Ow ow ow…
I met this guy! We are so compatible!!! For me it felt like the one!!!
As he is quite demanding in being close, I really enjoyed being closed to him.
And then suddenly after 5 weeks he became hesitant because he did not feel the passion ate spark.
Honestly I didn’t feel a big spark rather I felt a secured love between us.
As he is missing the spark he just ended the relationship and it is really sad… But it takes 2 to tango
i dont just understand why a guy would actually tell his gf,that he will be happy if she leaves him,and even sweared
All needs to be practiced by women like me.
I am great friends with a guy and we both have told each other that we like each other and we will let nature take it’s course without rushing into a relationship he says he isn’t talking to or seeing anyone other than me and I am also being committed to him how do I be patient I have always rushed relationships before I have ever been good friends with them first can I get some tips on what I need to do to be patient and keep him attracted to me
No man has asked me out on a date yet and I’m 27 years old. I m worried if I will end up with any man at all or if my life after attending UUCI will be forever ruined/destroyed/damaged.
it’s very important in any relationship to feel free and independent that you can both still move freely and have alone-time. this way, you are showing your trust, respect and maturity
if you give him the opportunity to talk about what really lights him up inside, he’ll feel closer to you than ever because he can share the things that he likes the most with you.
ill try all of these so i can be with the man i love the most forever! <3
i would love to win this man’s heart forever and i will follow these steps to do so successfully.
i will definitely try your advice. i really like the man im dating and i want to keep him forever. <3
great article! good thing this article emphasized self-respect ladies! if your relationship didn’t work out, just make sure to date someone with the same interest you have.
as long as you assure him of your love and support, i think a man would not be looking for anything else.
i would really love to keep my man forever. they say it’s difficult but im willing to give this a try.
as long as you both are compatible and are moving towards the same direction, you should be good.
this definitely makes sense, i love it!
you can always attract a man with looks and physical appearance but you can only win his heart by being your true natural self. when he’s as natural and real with you, that means you have already won his heart.
SELF RESPECT – very important reminder for ladies. thank you for emphasizing on this enough.
wow, learned so much from this article. let me try your tips and will let you know of any progress. thanks!!!
couldn’t agree more. i have always believed that compatibility is vital for any relationship.
i loved this post. sometimes we tend to be all comfortable in a relationship we forget to be better for our partners. in my case, i intend to keep him forever so im doing your advice. <3
great article! thank you so much for all the tips!
i want to win this certain guy..i think he likes me but he doesn’t really show it. my friends see and feel i too. now, ill make sure i’ll win him over!
men tend to get easily bored and so this article is very useful for women who really want to keep their men forever <3
wow, i love this! i will definitely follow these tips so i can win him over! thanks!
i love this post, thanks so much for your tips and great help to women like me.
this is good stuff! thanks for sharing your thoughts and expertise to us, women like me sure do benefit from your work. keep it up! (:
i like this post. i want my relationship to last and this is one great piece of advice. THANK YOU!
awesome tips, as usual! thank u! (:
i think being spontaneous yet staying true is gonna help you win his heart<3
winning a man’s heart is not that at all complicated. but to win him forever is another thing. this post is very true
i like this post. ill keep all these in mind!
just be natural and have fun with him and the relationship will grow.
you’re absolutely right. if you’re compatible, it’s most probably you’ll succeed.
love this article, some are obvious but you’ve managed to make a good point
i think you’re right. compatibility is still key. even if you have all the good traits but still doesn’t match your partner’s, won’t just work.